We ‘ve been here for about two and a half weeks, having found the sun and warmth we were seeking, hiding a bit from the endlessness of winter in Vermont. It’s snowed about five times since we left; once we got a message from Green Mountain Power that the electricity was out. How grateful we are to be in a place we can be outside more than inside, walking on the beach, bicycling, golfing (a lot of time spent at the driving range, pitching area, and putting greens trying to work our way to not-being-terrible more often), and writing or reading on the deck. Ben realized something kind of crazy—being on a deck next to the beach is basically going to the beach without the sandy-ness everywhere and with access to a bathroom. We’re still walking along the beach, seeing dolphins, and sadly stepping over beached jellyfish, but we’re not bringing our towels down there and setting up shop. We’ve transitioned into deck beach goers. (I’m imagining things will change with a grandchild…)

Some photos:

Also, I’ve read two great books I’d recommend:

 

Dream Count by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

What a clever idea—to recount past relationships, possible dreams all amid the backdrop of Covid…The four voices are so rich and palpable.

 

Going Home by Tom Lamont 

Another book with four different narrators—such a poignant, powerful investigation into friendship, parenting, different kinds of love. The dialogue between the toddler and others is so authentic and moving.

We’re headed back north on Friday, can’t wait for lilacs in Vermont!

Be safe, everyone. Thanks for reading. Keep hoping.

Love,

Sarah

I was nervous about leaving the South Island, nervous I’d be disappointed, that we’d explored the best island first. Seriously, the South Island was even more spectacular than I had remembered from twenty-five years before. The Alps, the lakes, the ocean, the biking, the hiking, the golfing, and definitely the people—everything beyond beautiful. The analogy I’m about to make is a bit hyperbolic, but bear with me; it’s what came to my mind. I was pregnant with David when Abby was only nine months old; she was this adorable, silly, impossibly perfect being, and I worried if I was capable of loving another person as much as I loved her. Well, of course, I discovered that endless reservoir of love that exists and felt the same power and depth of love for David when he came into this world. So, I loved the North Island, too—its beaches with rock cathedrals, its smooth sand and lapping turquoise water, its hot springs, its national forests with dramatic waterfalls, and its All Blacks rugby teams (both men & women). We had a great Airbnb in Hot Water Beach (2 plus hours from Auckland) and used as a home base, finding trails and beaches and golf courses within an hour. We had a different excursion each day of the week. The golfing was crazy fun. The course we played several times had an honors system for renting clubs and paying greens fees, every part low key, maybe what golf is meant to be.

We left New Zealand reluctantly; I could have stayed there for many more weeks. I know we’ll return. Maybe every year.

We stayed a night in San Francisco with great friends, attended The Moth, and flew back to snow and sleet in Vermont. We’re doing laundry, packing up the truck, going to Burlington to see David Sedaris, and will head to warmer places on Friday. South Carolina, (via DC and Chapel Hill) here we come!

Photos below:

Thanks for reading!

Be safe. Stay strong.

Love,

Sarah

New Zealand looks like paradise; it feels like paradise. A place of stunning mountains and turquoise water, both lakes and sea; ferns growing taller than humans, and nothing here that can hurt you. No snakes. No mosquitoes. No Trump administration.

Twenty-five years ago Ben and I had a six-month sabbatical, and we decided to take Abby and David out of school and travel around the world (after getting the okay from Needham schools to homeschool them). We took about a month driving across the US and flew from San Francisco to New Zealand, a perfect start for our adventure into the world.

On this trip we’re seeing our favorite places and adding some new ones. We’re staying at Airbnbs for 3-6 days in each place except when we did the the Alps to Ocean bike tour, a six-day memorable experience.

Here are some of the highlights:

From Queenstown:

Hikes – The Queenstown Hill Walkway (amazing views & sheep!), and in nearby Arrowtown, the Sawpit Gully Trail is a great loop.

From Te Anau:

The Te Anau Golf Club was so fun – great views and some tough holes.

Hikes – Key Summit is amazing; it’s on the way to Milford Sound and part of the Routeburn Track. Parts of the Kepler Track as day hikes via water taxis.

Day trip to Doubtful Sound – we had been to Milford Sound 25 years ago and wanted to see something a little different and a little less touristy. Wow, this experience delivered. It was really one of the most sacred, untouched places I’ve ever been: through the fiords out to the wild Tasman Sea with seals and dolphins along the way. Nothing but nature. In Māori this area is called Patea which means “the place of silence.”

An eight-hour driving adventure on the left side of the road…it sure makes you feel present!

And we were off on six days of biking in wild, wonderful mostly single track trails from Aoraki/Mount Cook to the Pacific Ocean. It was incredibly fun, sometimes a little scary, and always beautiful. Our guides were amazing and the other people in the group quite fun.

And now we are in Ruby Bay, close to Abel Tasman National Park where we’ve been hiking for the last three days. Oh my goodness – water taxis to trailheads or pick/-up spots on beaches and just staggering beauty and birdsong on the coastal trails.

We’re having our first rainy day since arriving nearly three weeks ago (hence the time to write 😊).

Tomorrow is Abby’s birthday. Twenty-five years ago we were celebrating her 11th birthday kayaking in the Tasman Sea around the second most photographed rock in the world (the first is Uluru/Ayers Rock in Australia), Split Apple Rock (just minutes from where we are right now). How grateful we are to be back in this paradise.

Tomorrow morning we leave the South Island and head to the North Island for a week.

Be safe, everyone. Stay strong and laugh as much as possible.

Love,

Sarah

I have to back up a bit more. We arrived in Vermont from Rwanda to several feet of snow and a great couple of days with our son and daughter-in-law that included a few cross country ski adventures as well as some cribbage tournaments.

Going to the San Francisco area always feels a little like coming home to a place I loved. We lived in the East Bay Rockridge neighborhood for three fun years from 1986 to 1989. I just loved the weather, no screens on the windows, a lemon tree in our backyard…

On this visit our wonderful friends, Susan and Alec, offered their house and car while they were in South East Asia. It was a whirlwind of seeing Amy, Ben’s sister, lunch and dinners with Nobles‘ grads and Alec & Susan’s kids, and amazing hiking in the East Bay hills and Mount Tamalpais. We feel so full of love, delicious food, and vistas.

While we were in the city I became a little obsessed with the fog horns I could hear from the Golden Gate Bridge in the early morning hours, so regular and soothing in some way. There is such beauty as the fog fills in the hills. San Francisco wears fog like a scarf, like one of those stylish people who knows just how to knot or sweep a swath of cloudy fabric around her neck. A little like the way my daughter’s loving black lab fits her body along the top of the sofa when my daughter works on her computer and curls her soft face on my daughter’s shoulder. Or the way a mama gorilla gently lifts her nursing infant from breast to neck when she wants to move. That’s how easily and fluidly the fog enters and exists. I love the warning horns, the way we figure out ways to help each other when we can’t see clearly.

So we left San Francisco on Wednesday night and arrived in Auckland on Friday morning. We lost a day, & I didn’t get to do the Thursday Wordle and erased my streak. Oh well, a good lesson in letting go.

We arrived in Queenstown after one missed landing effort. That was an adventure.

We’re about to go off on a hike.

Thanks for reading.

Be safe out there.

Love,

Sarah

Our trips to Rwanda are so filled with adventure, learning, and getting to know people because of the incredible tour group we use: Go Discover Africa. The creators and owners, Edmond & Mabubu, are ASYV graduates who manage our groups of 4 to 25 with humor, ease, and expertise. We just love both of these young men. Mabubu was our leader on this trip. His response to anything I asked was, “No problem” or “100%!” I cannot endorse a tour company more highly. If you are considering a trip to Rwanda, these two are the best.

The last three weeks in Rwanda have been a whirlwind of adventure and learning and fun. What follows are three vignettes and a bunch of photos. Thanks for reading!

Meeting Zelda at Shooting Touch

We are all born into our stories, hatched into a world of more stories, all of our stories weaving together, some stinging like fire ants, others birthed in the territory of easy breathing. I can strip myself down to bones and skin, just be an animal in the orchard. I was born. I breathe and look and smile and cry. Zelda walked into the mines and dug for tungsten. Her husband died of respiratory failure. Their five children are growing. Zelda has found a new job and now she laughs. Her hands move like joyful birds as she speaks, and her eyes shine. She lives in a mud home she shared with us. She has one pig and three chickens. Her dress is a flood of color. Her sweater is yellow. She seems like a sun.

Humans visit Gorillas

It is a long way to get to them. Planes, cars, rugged roads, and rows and rows of potatoes and a stone wall to climb. Machetes sound like music, flashing in the sun as they weave through trees. Mud clings to your shoes. This is traveling back to the garden. Speaking of Eve, you will believe in wildness and not know where you are going but still go. There are bamboo tunnels. There are some days when all you do is move your legs and listen and see what might be gods.

Family Time at Agahozo Shalom Youth Village

It is perhaps the apex of a visit to ASYV. The mamma in each of the 24 families is a Genocide survivor. She cares for the children in her home (24 boys or 20 girls) for the entirety of their four-year experience. Ben & I and all the visitors (5 groups of Nobles students and 3 adult trips) we bring always attend at least one of these amazing hour-long evening rituals. It can be filled with dancing, singing, skits, games, seriou, important discussions or all of the above. Last night the mamma was helping her 24 boys understand what they can control in their lives and what is out of their control. Each boy weighed in. So much truth was unveiled. We can’t control illness, death, the beliefs of others. We cannot control time. Yet, there is so much we can do in our lives to stay on the course we want to be on. We can control our anger, our behavior, our forgiveness, our decisions. Even after making mistakes or experiencing failure, we can regain control. I learn so much in this village. As I was leaving after all the hugs and goodbyes, one boy wanted to ask me a question. “Is there a better word for what you are?” he asked, “You were introduced as a ‘visitor’ but visitors come one time and go away. You keep coming back.” This is the tenth year we have been a part of ASYV. This young man and I tested out a few new words and decided that Ben and I are ‘returners’. How amazing to make up a new word with someone just learning English. I am constantly inspired here.

Stay safe everyone.

Love,

Sarah

Maybe it’s because we can’t handle the cold anymore (we know there is no bad weather, just bad clothing, but nearly single digits for a whole week…come on!).

Maybe it’s because of the constant onslaught of utter distaste and hate spewing from the mouth of the new administration.

Maybe we just planned this trip to Rwanda for the perfect time.

Anyway, we’re flying to Amsterdam today and onto Kigali tomorrow. We have twelve friends meeting us there, all of whom we’ve known for over thirty years. I’m reigniting this blog as we go through the country on our eleventh visit in Rwanda. After three weeks in Rwanda, we’ll be home for a minute to do laundry then off to San Francisco and New Zealand for a month. After another brief reboot in Vermont, a month traveling in our pickup truck with the destination of Seabrook Island, South Carolina and then back to Vermont in May when we can be outside more than inside for the following seven months.

We’re always carry-on travelers, but recently we purchased even smaller bags (after checking out what pilots and flight attendants have). Here are my two:

Thanks for reading.

Stay warm & safe.

Love,

Sarah

(Travelpro 21” spinner carry-on & Osprey backpack)

Buckle up…it’s a little long 🙂

Processing Rwanda – March/April, 2023

There are times during travel when time and experience align to create opportunities for reflection. In other circumstances, travel can feel a bit like drinking water out of a firehose – the experiences, observations, and conversations relentlessly flooding the senses. The last month in Rwanda was derinitely the latter.

Committing to the most vulnerable

A few days of hiking along the Costa Brava have given time to reflect, and some themes have emerged to help me make sense of the last month.

At every turn we were awed by the jaw-dropping commitment that so many make to some of the most vulnerable people on the planet. We repeatedly saw smart, talented, indefatigable professionals of every age committing their lives to serving those for whom the lottery of birth gave little (if any) opportunity. Watching Chloe, Sam and their team at Shooting Touch educate and empower youth and women through the gift of basketball and the support of one another proved the power of sport to do good things. (“God, prayer and Shooting Touch get me through each day.”). Seeing the daily 24/7 commitment of the entire ASYV team to serving the almost unimaginable set of needs of Rwanda’s most vulnerable youth was humbling and inspiring. Spending time with Elise and Charlotte at SOLA Afghanistan (in Kigali) brought home the mountains that girls from the Afghan diaspora have to climb in order to gain the basic human rights of education and opportunity. Hearing Chaste and Norris at Bridge2Rwanda or the team at African Leadership University share how they are helping African and Rwandan youth build the skills necessary to succeed in some of the top universities in the world and “do hard things” to shape Africa’s future. Each one of these talented men and women could have chosen a different path – one with less stress, better compensation, fewer hours. Yet they have chosen a life of service.

The hope embodied in young people

For decades, young people have given me energy, optimism, and hope. The last month saw a variety of different but equally meaningful conversations with and among young people from Nobles and ASYV. As had been the case with the other seventeen groups we’ve taken to learn and serve, this Nobles group grappled with so many important questions and issues. “How can such injustice exist in the world? Especially when we have so much.” “These ASYV kids are just as smart and capable as we are – yet our opportunities could not be more different.” “What can we do to help and support now that we know?” At the same time, countless ASYV young people were eager to welcome us into their world in a way that the Nobles students felt visitors would never be welcomed back home. And the willingness of ASYV kids to ask questions like “What do you want your last words to be before you die?” showed the desire to engage in some of life’s most challenging questions. 

Young people often remind me of important things, and it’s hard to be too pessimistic about the world when one spends time with kids like these. 

The power of friendship and family

A special gift on this trip was to spend time with our good friend, Alex Gallagher, to make new friendships with Carly O’Hearn and LaTasha Sarpey from Nobles, and deepen relationships by spending time visiting the homes of JC Nkukiliyimfura, Eric Kabiyona and Alice Tumukunde from ASYV (along with extended time with ASYV grads Edmond and Mabubu from ASYV and GoDiscover Africa). Introducing old friends Alec & Susan Lee to Rwanda was an affirmation of shared values and commitment to use our time and resources to explore, grow, and contribute. To share all of it with Sarah, the love of my life, yet again affirmed her as the best traveling partner the world could offer (and we so miss Abby/Paul and David/Emily – we’ll get them to Rwanda sometime!).

Getting proximate

Bryan Stevenson (the famous American civil rights lawyer/leader and author of Just Mercy) often talks about the importance of “getting proximate” to those who face particular struggles. By ‘getting proximate’ one can develop deeper understanding and greater commitment to people and problems that often seem distant and unsolvable. This month provided a series of opportunities to ‘get proximate’ that both deepened understanding and ongoing commitment on our part. Our lives at home are comfortable beyond belief, and it is far too easy to remove ourselves from the realities that so many face. If this trip accomplished anything, I hope it will be to continue our journey to do what we can to support those doing the really hard work (both in Rwanda and at home). 

Some lingering questions and observations

If you’re still reading this long musing, here are a few lingering thoughts:

• What about the boys? There is SO much good work being done around gender equity and girls/women’s empowerment. But where is the work being done to make sure the boys/men understand how to be “good men” – good fathers, good life partners, fighting against gender based violence that is all too present? 
• How can traumatized youth be empowered to manage and work through their trauma? The mental health needs are massive. The mental health resources are meager. What systems can be built to help?
• I love the way Rwandans introduce themselves by saying, “You’re welcome” (ie; “you are welcome in my home”) and responding to questions with, “Thank you” before they respond (ie; “thank you for caring about what I have to say”).
• Generally, I think “joy” is an overused word. Watching women celebrating a basket at Shooting Touch or students at ASYV responding to a classmate singing or dancing at Village Time reignites and refreshes that word.

“Humbled” and “grateful” are words that can also be overused. Yet the dictionary may not have other words that capture what I feel stepping away from a month in Rwanda. Humbled by the work that so many do, that makes whatever I may have done pale in comparison. Grateful not just for what we have but more importantly grateful for the opportunity to get to know, learn from, and work with such a remarkable country and community of those serving young people (and ASYV in particular). 

The connections, commitments, and friendships will continue. I hope I can do them justice.

Thanks for reading,

Ben

Buckle up…it’s a little long 🙂

Processing Rwanda – March/April, 2023

There are times during travel when time and experience align to create opportunities for reflection. In other circumstances, travel can feel a bit like drinking water out of a firehose – the experiences, observations, and conversations relentlessly flooding the senses. The last month in Rwanda was definitely the latter.

Committing to the most vulnerable

A few days of hiking along the Costa Brava have given time to reflect, and some themes have emerged to help me make sense of the last month.

At every turn we were awed by the jaw-dropping commitment that so many make to some of the most vulnerable people on the planet. We repeatedly saw smart, talented, indefatigable professionals of every age committing their lives to serving those for whom the lottery of birth gave little (if any) opportunity. Watching Chloe, Sam and their team at Shooting Touch educate and empower youth and women through the gift of basketball and the support of one another proved the power of sport to do good things. (“God, prayer and Shooting Touch get me through each day.”). Seeing the daily 24/7 commitment of the entire ASYV team to serving the almost unimaginable set of needs of Rwanda’s most vulnerable youth was humbling and inspiring. Spending time with Elise and Charlotte at SOLA Afghanistan (in Kigali) brought home the mountains that girls from the Afghan diaspora have to climb in order to gain the basic human rights of education and opportunity. Hearing Chaste and Norris at Bridge2Rwanda or the team at African Leadership University share how they are helping African and Rwandan youth build the skills necessary to succeed in some of the top universities in the world and “do hard things” to shape Africa’s future. Each one of these talented men and women could have chosen a different path – one with less stress, better compensation, fewer hours. Yet they have chosen a life of service.

The hope embodied in young people

For decades, young people have given me energy, optimism, and hope. The last month saw a variety of different but equally meaningful conversations with and among young people from Nobles and ASYV. As had been the case with the other seventeen groups we’ve taken to learn and serve, this Nobles group grappled with so many important questions and issues. “How can such injustice exist in the world? Especially when we have so much.” “These ASYV kids are just as smart and capable as we are – yet our opportunities could not be more different.” “What can we do to help and support now that we know?” At the same time, countless ASYV young people were eager to welcome us into their world in a way that the Nobles students felt visitors would never be welcomed back home. And the willingness of ASYV kids to ask questions like “What do you want your last words to be before you die?” showed the desire to engage in some of life’s most challenging questions. 

Young people often remind me of important things, and it’s hard to be too pessimistic about the world when one spends time with kids like these. 

The power of friendship and family

A special gift on this trip was to spend time with our good friend, Alex Gallagher, to make new friendships with Carly O’Hearn and LaTasha Sarpey from Nobles, and deepen relationships by spending time visiting the homes of JC Nkukiliyimfura, Eric Kabiyona and Alice Tumukunde from ASYV (along with extended time with ASYV grads Edmond and Mabubu from ASYV and GoDiscover Africa). Introducing old friends Alec & Susan Lee to Rwanda was an affirmation of shared values and commitment to use our time and resources to explore, grow, and contribute. To share all of it with Sarah, the love of my life, yet again affirmed her as the best traveling partner the world could offer (and we so miss Abby/Paul and David/Emily – we’ll get them to Rwanda sometime!).

Getting proximate

Bryan Stevenson (the famous American civil rights lawyer/leader and author of Just Mercy) often talks about the importance of “getting proximate” to those who face particular struggles. By ‘getting proximate’ one can develop deeper understanding and greater commitment to people and problems that often seem distant and unsolvable. This month provided a series of opportunities to ‘get proximate’ that both deepened understanding and ongoing commitment on our part. Our lives at home are comfortable beyond belief, and it is far too easy to remove ourselves from the realities that so many face. If this trip accomplished anything, I hope it will be to continue our journey to do what we can to support those doing the really hard work (both in Rwanda and at home). 

Some lingering questions and observations

If you’re still reading this long musing, here are a few lingering thoughts:

• What about the boys? There is SO much good work being done around gender equity and girls/women’s empowerment. But where is the work being done to make sure the boys/men understand how to be “good men” – good fathers, good life partners, fighting against gender based violence that is all too present? 
• How can traumatized youth be empowered to manage and work through their trauma? The mental health needs are massive. The mental health resources are meager. What systems can be built to help?
• I love the way Rwandans introduce themselves by saying, “You’re welcome” (ie; “you are welcome in my home”) and responding to questions with, “Thank you” before they respond (ie; “thank you for caring about what I have to say”).
• Generally, I think “joy” is an overused word. Watching women celebrating a basket at Shooting Touch or students at ASYV responding to a classmate singing or dancing at Village Time reignites and refreshes that word.

“Humbled” and “grateful” are words that can also be overused. Yet the dictionary may not have other words that capture what I feel stepping away from a month in Rwanda. Humbled by the work that so many do, that makes whatever I may have done pale in comparison. Grateful not just for what we have but more importantly grateful for the opportunity to get to know, learn from, and work with such a remarkable country and community of those serving young people (and ASYV in particular). 

The connections, commitments, and friendships will continue. I hope I can do them justice.

Thanks for reading,

Ben

This morning I woke up with a new word in my mind, storying. I’m defining it as the act of listening to stories and storing them inside of you.

The story of Edmond, the owner of Go Discover Africa and an ASYV graduate, who drove us and is our friend. The way he feels saved by ASVY and pays kindness forward.

The story of Beck, our guide to the gorillas, his twenty years of being with them and having a map of the park in his head.

The story of Dian Fossey who spent her life protecting the gorillas and lost her life for them.

The story of the gentle Amahora (Peace) gorilla family, eighteen strong.

The story of Rwanda, its brutal, tragic history and the story of its movement forward through truth and clarity.

No story is without sadness and some pretending and some magic. 

When I listen to stories, a stubborn little door in my own damaged heart unlatches, and I am swept into new surprising places.

The story of our trekking in the Virunga Mountains included walking across fields of rich soil, acres of potatoes and pyrethrum flowers (used for a safe alternative to harmful insecticides) and the hard-working farmers, climbing across the high stone border wall of Volcanoes National Park on a hand-made ladder and going into the jungled mountains, someone hacking through sharp nettled leaves, sinking deep into the dark, lush mud, following the person in front of me up and up until we found the trackers who have another story. The way they stay with the gorilla family until they begin making nests with leaves and trees for the night. Then the trackers head home for a few hours before going back to that spot the next morning before the gorillas awake and leave.

Finding and seeing the gorillas is another story. The magical part where you and seven other people along with your guide and a tracker who speaks gorilla sit or stand mere feet from this happy, sleepy family. It’s lunch and nap time, and we are given the gift to join them for an hour, watch the alpha silverback lean into the grass and close his eyes, one mother nurses and grooms her three-month-old baby, young boys are in a constant wrestling match, rolling into and around each other in a mass of shining black fur. They are curious enough to come over to us swinging on a bent bamboo stalk, reaching for a sneaker or a hand until the tracker grunts a little warning to get back. About a dozen of the family of eighteen are with us in this small grassy opening in the jungle. One whole hour of living and breathing together (with masks on—we don’t want to get them sick in any way). Everything is quiet and present on this edge of real and beyond real. And then we leave, storing that story inside of us forever.

We head back to Spain on Sunday after an amazing month in Rwanda.

Stay safe, everyone.

Love,

Sarah